On Saturday 14th September 2002, I was supposing to be marrying my University Sweetheart, Y. It never happened. Yesterday, I found out through Friends Reunited of all places that he was getting married to Replacement Girlfriend on September the 1st. I am very happy for them. It means I can finally shake of the guilt of that awful text message conversation, where he announced he was having trouble getting over me (it had been seven months) and I had to tell him that no, we couldn’t talk it through because I had a new man. God I felt crap.

Y is not one of the people in this world for whom the phrase opposites attracts rings true. At home I have a picture of the two of us one crazy night at University when I had got home from a club and Y was already in his Pyjamas and green towelling dressing gown. One of my friends felt it was important to capture this key event in our relationship. I never did managed to appreciate what they were trying to tell me until it was too late to save my feelings. Y and I were completely unsuitable for one another.

However, what does annoy me is this: he never once mentioned to me that he was engaged to her, let alone getting married. Maybe I was supposed to guess this when he told me they were buying a house together, or when he refused to meet me at the university reunion because she was in tow, but I thought we still had the courtesy to mention such important life issues to each other when we chatted over email.

What hurt me more though, even more than Y not mentioning it, is the action of our mutual friends. Surely some of then knew and I would guess that some of them even went to the wedding. What was I, the Evil One? What did they expect if they mentioned it to me? That I would turn up at the church at the point where the vicar says “If anyone knows of any just reason blah blah blah…” and billow in shouting “YES! YES! I DO!!! He used to be engaged to me and although, thankfully, he left me to save me from a life time of misery and a horrible mother-in-law, he has no right to be happy in his life when he hurt me as badly as he did …”.

Okay, that may be what I think!! But I am not the villain in this piece. I did not walk out on him. And although I certainly don’t want him anymore, I feel like some people may have sided with him over me and that doesn’t feel very nice. It also doesn’t feel very nice that he was the one that hurt me and yet he is now happily married to his mirror image whilst I am here dating a man that I am not sure will ever want to marry me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Burnley Boy and I have no reason to doubt him when he says that he loves me. But when I met JJ within two weeks I was meeting the parents and he was announcing his plans to marry me. He said he knew straight away that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. It was the same with Y. I think you do “just know” when you meet someone like that and well, Burnley Boy has just never acted that way. Having said that, JJ dumped me in favour of Australia and Y jilted me… so it was all lies anyway. I don’t think I’ve ever managed to get it out of my head that Burnley Boy dumped me once (for a full 24 hours!), so I think it is unlikely that he has any kind of burning desire to marry me ever. That said, he does want me to meet his mother (or maybe his mother wants to analyse me, not too sure).

Well, I’ll just wait for my piece of wedding cake to come through the post!!